I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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