cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
