I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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