the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
