I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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