Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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