Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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