what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
