she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
