so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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