i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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