I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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