He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize