We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize