In the future we'll all be gay
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
