Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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