I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
