whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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