I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
