I didn't shave. On purpose
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
