how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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