when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
vagina is talking i cant
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
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i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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