3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
