You really coming over, don't trick.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
