omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize