I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
