i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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