so that wasnt chicken after all
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
