doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
