No stitches, just platelets and will power
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
