is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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