they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
