im about as happy as oj after his trial
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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