I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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