im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm passing your future prison.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
