I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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