he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
