i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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