You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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