I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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