Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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