similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
