According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..