I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
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He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
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I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him