Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.

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  (973): Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer. http://tfl.nu/dm7j
  Replies (21) Good night (580) Bad night (2945)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.

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  (804): names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving. http://tfl.nu/d6qb
  Replies (8) Good night (3587) Bad night (521)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

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  (904): the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants http://tfl.nu/u4r0
  Replies (7) Good night (5946) Bad night (659)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf

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  (412): I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf http://tfl.nu/qrcf
  Replies (28) Good night (4236) Bad night (1579)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy

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  (908): i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy http://tfl.nu/exgt
  Replies (7) Good night (1129) Bad night (2867)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....

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  (865): got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter.... http://tfl.nu/ne6c
  Replies (9) Good night (3358) Bad night (989)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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  (330): Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car. http://tfl.nu/8rap
  Replies (6) Good night (2606) Bad night (830)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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  (250): dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf http://tfl.nu/yf3n
  Replies (7) Good night (2853) Bad night (1140)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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  (423): I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ. http://tfl.nu/ko9e
  Replies (11) Good night (1432) Bad night (629)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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  (306): We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together http://tfl.nu/varl
  Replies (4) Good night (1438) Bad night (774)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.

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  (913): You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils. http://tfl.nu/xx9n
  Replies (10) Good night (1107) Bad night (492)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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  (203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m
  Replies (5) Good night (355) Bad night (896)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.

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  (203): You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity (1-203): You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9k8g
  Replies (1) Good night (965) Bad night (305)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear

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  (803): Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear http://tfl.nu/ax51
  Replies (9) Good night (867) Bad night (287)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?

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  (703): Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask? http://tfl.nu/w6jy
  Replies (4) Good night (341) Bad night (213)

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