Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.