Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.

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(203): Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes. http://tfl.nu/d0yb

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(206): View more from Washington

Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

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(206): Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio. http://tfl.nu/95rn

Replies (30) Good night (7030) Bad night (1074)
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(323): View more from California

Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

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(323): Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy. http://tfl.nu/58l0

Replies (6) Good night (3591) Bad night (847)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.

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(201): It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb. http://tfl.nu/thcm

Replies (6) Good night (5463) Bad night (1000)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.

(334): View more from Alabama

I stand by my new policy.

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(334): I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots. (334): I stand by my new policy. http://tfl.nu/bu7l

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(914): View more from New York

He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

(914): View more from New York

Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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(914): He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List (914): Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired) http://tfl.nu/bfp9

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(408): View more from California

He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.

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(408): He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend. http://tfl.nu/9uge

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.

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(606): Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK. http://tfl.nu/wl4e

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(706): View more from Georgia

Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.

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(706): Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes. http://tfl.nu/784u

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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(919): Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma http://tfl.nu/tsev

Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (295)
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(801): View more from Utah

I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.

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(801): I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me. http://tfl.nu/9dfz

Replies (0) Good night (266) Bad night (675)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales

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(978): Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales http://tfl.nu/1ec5

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo

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(610): As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo http://tfl.nu/nylc

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(705): View more from Ontario

As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on

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(705): As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on http://tfl.nu/a8qc

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(410): View more from Maryland

When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...

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(410): When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background... http://tfl.nu/noyn

Replies (1) Good night (237) Bad night (258)

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