After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
