Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Mommy issues

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(773): View more from Illinois

i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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(740): View more from Ohio

Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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(231): View more from Michigan

Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

(231): View more from Michigan

OMG its one we used last night

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+31): View more from The Netherlands

He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.

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(607): View more from New York

with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it

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(217): View more from Illinois

the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him

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