...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
