I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
