You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
