Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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