Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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