PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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