i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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