There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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