I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
