I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
