good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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