it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
