Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
