i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
