My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
