I wish I could punch you in the face.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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