I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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