even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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