If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
