normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You pole danced in your parka.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
