i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it glows. i had to have it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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