so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
